11 Tips to Ease You Through Grieving Your Child’s Death

11 Tips to Ease You Through Grieving Your Child’s Death

I Was a Guest on Radio

I was invited to be a guest on Talking Relationships on 2UE radio last night with David Prior and Melissa Ferrari. It’s a regular weekly show on Tuesday nights from 9pm to 11pm. They have interesting guests talking about anything to do with relationships. A listener had asked a question about the grief surrounding the death of her adult daughter who died about 8 years ago. I was asked to give her some tips on how she her grief could be eased. I think that it can never be eased because there are such strong emotions attached to the loss and I decided to write a blog post about the subject.

Click on the title below, it will open a new window where you can listen to the whole program. If you want to skip ahead and go to my part it’s between 120 and 127:53 minutes.

Talking Relationships – Grieving the Death of Your Child

 

It’s an interesting show to listen to, so by all means listen to the whole show. David and Melissa bounce off each other so naturally and have lovely voices.

 

The following is my blog post about grieving for your child.

What I write is true for any loved one who has died. I’ve written this in response to the program.

Read More

Meeting Great Therapists

Meeting Great Therapists

Importance of meeting therapists 

I love what I do and part of that is networking with other therapists. I like to find out what other therapists do and how they work, so I can refer clients to them. I want clients to have the best match with their therapist. 

I’m writing a series of articles on therapists I meet. One of them might be the right one for you.

Meeting Lisa

Recently I had the great pleasure of meeting an amazing therapist, her name is Lisa workPaul. She met me at my office. When she walked in I noticed she was confident, had a warm smile and a gentle way about her. She talked passionately about her work, she told me about some of her experiences of being a midwife and how this led to her becoming a psychotherapist/counsellor.  She has over 20 years experience in woman’s health, this showed through when she enthusiastically told me stories of how she likes to work with clients.

 

I sat with Lisa for 2 and a half hours and we just clicked. She is easy to talk to and I felt really relaxed with her. We’ve arranged to meet up again and hope to be running some workshops together in the future.

 

She’s Qualified

She’s a qualified Counsellor, Homeopath, Midwife and Calmbirth Practioner. She has so much knowledge and experience, it will take your breath away when you see her life skills and qualifications on her website.

She’s helped many couples through the maze of the maternal phase of life. While she was a midwife, she realised that mental health issues weren’t recognised nor were they supported through this phase.

Lisa wants to help mum’s be the best mum’s they can be.

 

Why You Should Work with Lisa

Lisa’s found that sometimes mum’s just need to

  • debrief about their birthing experience
  • work through long held grief or trauma
  • work through the anxiety or depression that sometimes surround pregnancy, birth
  • the issues that surround becoming a new parent

 

Lisa treats each client as an individual because no two people are alike. You might experience the same thing such as – a traumatic birth or has a horrible experience with a midwife, each person experiences this and processes it in different ways.

 

Mind/body work is tailored to suit a particular individual. This work is vitally important as both of these are connected and influence each other, so working with the mind means we need to work with the body as well. This is achieved in a calm, nurturing, safe, non-judgemental environment which Lisa provides.

 

 

If you’ve been through a traumatic birth, suffer from anxiety or depression, Lisa will be there for you. She provides a safe space for you to talk about whatever you need and of course, it will always be confidential.

 

Lisa has a loving, nurturing and relaxed manner.

 

If any of these issues resonate with you, I highly recommend that you call Lisa and make an appointment.

 

You can contact Lisa Paul on 0419 981 902

or

shoot her an email at lisa@lisapaulcounselling.com

or check out her website at

www.lisapaulcounselling.com

 

Dolls are Good for Kids: Whether they’re grieving or not

Dolls are Good for Kids: Whether they’re grieving or not

photo-1440557958969-404dc361d86fA common question I get asked by parents is, “When is my daughter too old to play with dolls?”

 

Dolls are fabulous toys for both girls and boys, especially those going through grief. Dolls teach children so many things about life, emotions, love, loss and problem solving within their environment. They develop cognitive and motor skills, language skills, caring and nurturing skills, and teach children how to navigate through strong and challenging emotions.

 

When children get older and still play with dolls, they are ridiculed and bullied. At this stage (Probably 7years and older) they learn different things.

Read More

The Joy of Dementia

The Joy of Dementia

The Joys of Dementia
I’ve just had the most amazing conversation with my mum who has dementia.

She usually doesn’t remember who I am. I’m usually the coffee lady, I love seeing that recognition expressed on her face. When she sees me she leaps out of her chair and always says, “It’s wonderful to see you!” and I respond with, “Are you having coffee today?” and her reply is always said with a smile, “Oh yes, of course”.

 

But today was different; she greeted me with different eyes. She seemed to know who I was. My name wasn’t mentioned but we did the usual greeting though it felt very different. I must say that when I went to see her I was in a very sad mood and really didn’t want to visit her in that state of mind but I’m glad I did or I wouldn’t have had this most exquisite conversation.

Read More

How My New Logo Was Born

How My New Logo Was Born

I have a new logo and I love it.

 

I was privileged to work with Aaron Carpenter and his team from Legendary Lion. I got in contact with him through Joe Sanok of Practice of the Practice.

 

Aaron and I had our meetings via Skype, as he is in Traverse City, USA. At first I was a little worried about having my ideas misunderstood but my fears were soon allayed.

 

On our first meeting Aaron asked me a whole heap of questions and by the second meeting we were on our way. I had no idea of what I wanted but talking with Aaron helped clarify “our” ideas. I say “our” ideas because we just bounced off each other.

Read More

How sharing our baby loss story helps us move through grief.

How sharing our baby loss story helps us move through grief.

2014-07-14 18.56.43When I had my twin girls at 24 weeks gestation (30 years ago), I had all manner of emotions flooding through me. I was happy that they were being born but terrified that they may not live.

The day our girls were to be born, the midwife phoned around hospitals to see who had 2 neonatal beds. She refused one particular hospital because they didn’t save babies 26 weeks and under.

Luckily I got to give birth to them in a hospital that saved them. They lived together until our youngest daughter died a week later (our eldest surviving twin lives on today).

Read More

P.S. I Love You

P.S. I Love You

IMG_0990

Spoiler alert-I may give away part of the plot to this fabulous film.

I’ve just finished watching “P.S. I Love You”, it’s one of my favourite films. It’s a lovely way to look at grief.

I know it’s too perfect but it beautifully illustrates the importance of surrounding yourself with supportive friends.

It captures the essence of grief. The roller coaster of emotions and relationships that happen during the grieving period of a young widow. It’s also very romantic, funny, sad and tugs at your heart strings.

Gerry and Holly are a young married couple in the perfect relationship. They love each other truly, madly and deeply. He is diagnosed with a brain tumour and consequently dies but it is only after he dies that we see their journey of how they met, how they loved and how they lost each other.

After Gerry dies, love letters from him are delivered to Holly and continue for the first year of her grief. He wrote the letters while Holly was at the

Read More

Lost and Found

Lost and Found

IMG_1947
The End of a Coffee Era

Welcome to my first blog of the year. I’m writing this blog to let you know that grief and loss come in different forms. This is not to make light of the death of a loved one or a pet but that grief is also the loss of community and the sense of belonging.

I know that many of you have been spending time over the Christmas and New Year period being with your family and friends. It’s a time for sharing, love and socialising. Some people don’t have family or friends to celebrate this time with and their coffee shop (or something like it) is their family. When that changes or disappears, things change dramatically and your feelings can be difficult to navigate through.

September 12th 2013
Today was such a sad day for my husband and I and many others in our community. Our local coffee shop owners have sold their store and today is their last day.

The Best Family in Business
We are priviledged to know a wonderful family who have built a fabulously, interactive community. They had a Facebook page where all the regular customers talk and have a joke with each other. I don’t think they know how much they have added to our lives and many others.

Read More

7 Quick Tips on How to survive Valentine’s Day

7 Quick Tips on How to survive Valentine’s Day

IMG_1582

How will I survive without my husband on celebration days, especially one that celebrates lovers?

A bit about my love

We have spent our lives together. We met at 17 years old and have known each other for almost 40 years.I don’t know what I will do without him.

I’m at the age where our friends are dying or being diagnosed with cancer. We have friends who’s partners have died. One friend actually died on Valentine’s Day, so it’s a sad reminder.

Just forget about it

Read More

Telling a 3 year old “Grandma’s dying”

Telling a 3 year old “Grandma’s dying”

What-can-I-say-to-someone-who-is-grieving-purple-sweater-hugging-crying-lady

Oh my goodness! How am I going to do that?

Your Mum has been fighting cancer for a long time now and she is getting close to death and the time has come to tell your 3 year old daughter, Mary (I’m giving her a name to make it easier for myself).

You’re thinking, “I don’t know what to say or how to say it? Should I even mention it because she won’t understand anyway”, and everyone is telling you what to do?

Some of the conversations you’re having with yourself start:
“Will I do more harm than good?”
“Will it damage Mary, knowing that Grandma is dying?”

Read More